Boys and Their Toys

Jake loves his toys. He'll pick one that he'll favor for a period of time, and take it everywhere he goes. Then, once he's had his fill of that toy and another catches his eye, he'll find a new favorite. First it was his blocks, then airplane, then magna-doodle, then musical books, then singing Elmo dolls. 

Now, he's fixating on Matchbox cars. He has a whole collection handed down from Jon, and he can always be found with two tiny cars gripped tightly in each hand. He takes them in the car, he lines them up on his high chair tray during meals, and he falls asleep with them. He loves his cars. 

This past weekend, when visiting my grandparents after the blizzard, Jake had his car in tow. He also got a dollar from my grandfather. I'm not sure if he understands monetary value yet, but he values his car! 

I ended up sleeping at my grandparents house for a few days because it was closer to work and the snow doubled my commute time. Sunday night when I climbed into their guest bed, I found something hard shoved between the bed and the wall. 

This is what I dug up:

I'm still not over the preciousness of this picture. Or the owner of the car and dollar. 

I am so incredibly blessed by Jacob's presence in our family. It's the little things like Matchbox cars with crumpled up dollar bills shoved in the back that make me stop and remember what took place in my family just months ago. This boy is just so precious! 

Every once in a while, as I'm straightening up the TV room, I'll stop and realize what I'm putting away. Toy cars. Puzzles. Ni Hao Kai Lan figurines. Books. Size 3T underpants from the laundry. A few months ago, these things didn't belong in my house. Now it is just normal, and I love it. 

This Christmas Eve, as we anticipate the celebration of the birth of Jesus tomorrow with the rest of the Christian world, we also celebrate the 6 month anniversary of our new normal. June 24th, 6 months ago today, Jake came home.

Merry Christmas!

Snowed Out (Not In)

First, I have to report some exciting news. I worked my first paid shift Thursday night! It was the first time I stayed the whole 8 hour shift, and it really wasn't that bad. I was anticipating the night to drag on, but we were so busy up until 11 pm (lights out) that I really didn't get to breathe until the last hour. So much happened throughout the shift that I really can't even begin to tell you what my night was like. All I can say is that when it was hectic, it was great and hectic, and when we had 5 minutes of quiet, we appreciated it. But at the end, it was a great shift. 

In my eagerness to work and put hours in, I agreed to cover for a coworker's shift tonight, 4-12. Had I known that a blizzard was blowing through, I might have reconsidered. But the thing is, I work at a homeless shelter. They don't close for holidays or shut down for snow days. It's a 24-7 job. If I don't go in, someone else has to. So even though the weather is quite miserable and not the safest to drive in, and even though my family doesn't agree with me or support my decision, I'm working anyway. 

This is where God has me, and I have to believe that He's going to protect me, even in the snow. Yes, it's a minor inconvenience, having to drive in the windy snow and icy roads. Yes, I could easily lose control of my car or someone else could slide into me. But for lack of a better term, this is a homeless shelter's busy season. When the weather drops below 32 degrees, and we go into "Code Blue," we have to open our doors to anyone in need. Even though the snow isn't as bad as it will get within the next 24 hours, it's still a drag to have to drive through it. But I have to.

I can't even imagine what it is like for people who don't have a place to go tonight. Who aren't close enough to a homeless shelter. At least being homeless in tropical climates eliminates the possibility of freezing to death. Very few of us really know the hardships of life. I can't even imagine. What is mind boggling to me is how easily those in need are forgotten. If we, who have resources and have "enough," each contributed just a fraction of what we have, imagine the difference it could make in relieving poverty? Imagine the difference it could make in just one person's life? 

But when will it begin? Who will it start with? I don't know. But I am going to bundle up tonight and get in my car, drive slowly up Atlantic Avenue and hope that there is a parking spot cleared out for me. And if there isn't, I'll turn on my 4 wheel drive and make one. That, and pray that the snow melts soon. :-)

If you do nothing else tonight, take a minute and thank God for providing the shelter He has. Thank Him for the food you'll eat for dinner, and the warm blanket you'll wrap yourself with as you lay your head down on a fluffy pillow. Thank Him for the goodness He's shown to you in your life. And consider how you can be good stewards of the life you've been given. 

 

'Tis the Season!

Alicia sent me an email with this picture and explanation a few days ago. I thought it was pretty funny, and maybe you will too. 

So, enjoy!

“Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations.  The bad news is that I had to take him down after two days.  I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever.  Great stories.  But two things made me take it down.

 

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

 

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize that it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy).  By the way, she was one of the many people who attempted to do that.  My yard couldn’t take it either.  I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.”

Christmas is next week. Time flies. Enjoy this time with the people you love. <3

More Happenings

The past couple of days have been quite exciting. I've been busy and I like it. (Unfortunately, I haven't been busy WORKING, hopefully that'll come soon!) 

Friday I got my hair cut, then took my grandfather to a doctors appointment. Then I rushed home to clean the bathroom and pack for a quick trip to Pennsylvania. I got to Wawa to get gas, and literally had to wait in line for 15 minute to get gas. I've never seen it that busy before. When I finally made it to my aunts house, my baby cousin was so excited for our "sleepover" that I barely had time to eat dinner before we were doing fun 2 year old things (namely, looking at all the pictures on my computer). My aunt and uncle snuck out for some Christmas shopping, so it was girl time in our fun "sleepover" pajamas, complete with Nick Jr. and The Backyardigans and Wonder Pets. 

(Can I just say, that is the most bizarre show ever. One of the little animals has a noticeable speech impediment. Now, I can understand that they're using that to help human children to feel more accepted with their impediments, but for those who do not, isn't it teaching them to say words incorrectly? I don't get it.)

When she finally fell asleep, I had a date with David Tutera. I just LOVE wedding shows. Enough said about that.

Saturday morning I had to wake up SUPER early to meet a friend before PBU's graduation. 

(SUPER early is anytime before 9. Unemployment has spoiled me!)

I ended up running late anyway, but managed to get to PBU early enough to score a sweet parking spot and decent seats. Then I got to see my wonderful friend SamO, for the first time in a while. We'd been trying to get together for months, but it always fell through. Last week, I got "THE" phone call. The "I GOT THE RING!" phone call. Crazy! How many conversations we had over the past few years, talking about our future weddings! I'm so happy that all those hours of day dreaming out loud will pay off for at least one of us! It was SO good to see her, and to finally meet her fiance. 

And of course, I just have to show off her bling. It's quite exquisite. 

I knew a bunch of people graduating, but I couldn't miss seeing my sweet friend Kate graduate! 

Kate and I met in our Four Gospels class with Mr. Oliff. Well, technically, we met in chapel. She sat next to me and I told her I liked her hair. Then we realized we had Oliff's class together. When we realized that she did Mercy Ships and I did YWAM, and that we were both the same age (old) and both social work majors, we were instant friends. Little did I know that day in chapel just how instrumental she would end up being in my life. From convincing me to stay in school when I wanted to drop out and go back to the mission field, to going to Shane and Shane concerts with me, and even introducing my family to international adoption, and essentially, bringing Jake into our family. She's probably the sweetest and kindest and most sincere person I know, not to mention incredibly beautiful on the inside and out. 

Ok, enough of the Hallmark-ness. 

She graduated!

I'm so proud of us for making it through! 

After graduation, her family invited me to have lunch with them. On the way to the restaurant, Kate and her sisters drove with me in my car, and her dad took us on a guided tour of his childhood neighborhood, pointing out any and all significant and memorable places and things. It was a humorous tour, to say the least, until I almost rear-ended him in a last minute decision to pull into his old church's parking lot. Thank goodness for quick break peddle reflexes! 

After lunch, I had to get back on the road to NJ to meet a friend to see the Nutcracker. My sister danced in it last year with that company, they put on a good show. Then we went to decorate the outside of his house with a billion Christmas lights and lit up animals and such. It was super cold out. I could not stop thinking about all the homeless people who had to sleep outside and potentially freeze to death, while I had a warm bed waiting for me at home. I'm always the killjoy that ends up crying about a social injustice instead of celebrating the season.

Sunday I went to a Christmas party at my pastor's house. I've discovered that I'm more comfortable "helping" at parties than socializing. I'd rather keep my eye on the kids, take out the trash, refill drinks, etc, than stumble through awkward conversation with boarder line strangers. I did know a few people, which helped, but when my pastor's wife asked me to take pictures for her, I jumped at the chance. Baby steps, right?

Today I went shopping! Not Christmas shopping, but Tiffany shopping. I realized a few days ago that I essentially need a new winter wardrobe. Mostly all of my dressier options are beat, and I am dangerously low on staple items. Off to TJ Maxx I went with my mother. It was quite a successful trip!

I try so much so often to live on enough, to not splurge and waste money and resources that are needed elsewhere. I don't get my hair cut every 6-8 weeks as recommended. More like 4-6 months. Generally speaking, I don't buy new clothes often, and when I do, it's one thing here and one thing there. And with what I do have, I still end up with entirely too much. So believe it or not, simple things like refreshing my wardrobe or getting my hair cut doesn't come that easy to me (though I love to window shop!), and I have to make a conscious effort to take care of myself. Working with kids who have next to nothing, it's easy for me to feel guilty for the resources that I have. But I think it's ok, every once in a while, to take care of yourself. 

So this post really went across the board as far as topics are concerned. But that's kinda how my life is these days! Crazy and all over the place.

My sister comes home from the Dominican Republic this week. She's been gone for 5 months. Jake is having a hard time understanding that her bed is truly her bed. He insists that it's Megan's bed. Poor kid. Our room is a disaster, it'll take every spare minute from now until she comes home to make it halfway ready for her and her luggage! But it'll be so great having her back home! 

Well, peace out for now. Remember God's goodness!

It's Official!

I have a job! 

Covenant House hired me per diem as a Youth Advisor. I'll hopefully get put on the schedule soon and the calls will start coming! 

If you aren't sure what per diem is, I'll basically work when they need me. 

I'm really excited! Hopefully it'll eventually lead to something more full-time, but in the meantime, I'm very grateful for this opportunity and want to soak up as much as I can. 

A Youth Advisor basically is available to help the kids in whatever they need. It sounds simple, but there is always something to do and someone to help, and when there isn't, there are phones to answer, messages to take, and doors to buzz! The past two weeks I've been learning the ropes of the front desk, which has been really helpful to getting ready to be a Youth Advisor. I've also started establishing rapport with the some of the Youth (and even some of their babies!), which is always awesome. 

So, it'll be fun to see where this job leads! I am glad that I went down the volunteer road first, it gave me experience and helped them, and I would recommend that path to anyone who is in a job rut, like I was. 

While I'm offering up breaking news, I might as well venture to the Grad school topic. 

I'm in the application process for the Graduate school of Monmouth University. I applied for the International and Community Development Masters of Social Work. That's a mouthfull. I am scared to death of either result that this brings, of being rejected admittance or being accepted and the course work (namely, all the reading) that will come with it. So I'm not feeling anything in particular about this decision to apply, just seeing what will happen and go from there. 

So that's my news! God is good.

Jake

I don't have anything to say, really, so here are some pictures instead!

Classic Jake face!

Jake's first Thanksgiving at Aunt Victoria and Uncle Mark's house in PA.

Our best gift yet!

Jake's first Christmas tree!

Don't you just want to eat him?

And now, my personal favorites...

Court

December 7th snuck up on me. Tomorrow is my court date for the parking ticket I got while feeding a thanksgiving dinner to homeless youth. (How could the police be so insensitive!) 

Obviously I'm not going to court over not paying a parking meter, but I haven't paid my $36 fine yet. And my court date is tomorrow at 9:30 am. So it's too late to mail it in, and I have to have it paid before 9:30 or something bad will happen, I'm sure. I've never had a parking ticket or any other run-in with the law before, so I'm a little nervous, for whatever reason, about not having the fine paid in time and not showing up in court and having a warrant out for my arrest. Over a parking ticket. 

I know, my imagination runs wild if I don't keep it under control. 

Has anyone ever gone to court over a parking ticket? What would be the point? They really should give you more time to get around to mailing in the fee, too. 15 days really isn't enough. Why am I so disorganized?!?

Happy December!

Organized Chaos

I'm usually good at multi-tasking. I usually find the challenge to do many things at once a bit thrilling. 

Man, was I challenged tonight at Covenant House. 

Being stuck in the filing room was no preparation for what I had to dive into tonight....

...the front desk.

Just a few of the responsibilities of manning the front desk include and are certainly not limited to:

- Answering the phone 

(My least favorite! I spent the whole night praying that when it was my turn to answer, it would be an easy call. I'm still trying to learn the staff's names, let alone residents names, and knowing who so-and-so is and  if they're in tonight! Thankfully, my prayers were answered with relatively easy phone calls! Phew!)

-Crowd Control

(Keeping the noise levels down, breaking up any real or play fights, keeping the foyer area clear, etc. This job also involves meeting the requests that the residents have throughout the shift. There are many.)

-Babysitting

(This happens when moms need to step outside for various reasons. Good thing the kids are cute!)

-Buzzing people in 

(Let me explain. There is the front door, and to get in, the individual must knock on the window. When I hear the knock, I press the "Door" button to unlock it. Then there is the Courtyard door, which is a fenced in area outside. To get in, a doorbell sounds, I press the "Courtyard" button to unlock it. To get into the main hallway, where all the offices are located, along with the dinning room, bathrooms, etc, I must watch to see when anyone needs to get into that area and press the "Hall" button. When staff need to get into the copy room/staff bathroom area, I must watch and press the "Copy" button when they're ready. When residents and/or staff need to go upstairs to the residence floors, I must watch and press the "Stairs" button when they're ready. It's a lot of watching and pressing the button before they ask to be buzzed in. You need eyes all over your head, and this job is usually done while answering the phone, updating files on the computer, dealing with a situation with a resident, and keeping the noise down in the lounge next door while bouncing someone's baby on your knee.)

It was definitely a nonstop shift, and in the beginning I think my face was as red as a tomato from the stress of not knowing what to do or how to do it, but I think I got the hang of it quickly! The kids were very nice to me for the most part, making me feel welcome and gave me a few laughs too. I was complimented a few times by the same resident on my "ensemble." Note to self for future reference: when layering clothing of different colors, always go lighter to darker. 

While it was definitely a fast pace shift, I really enjoyed being there and learning the ropes. Also, good news, I parked directly in front of the building tonight and NO PARKING TICKET! Woohoo! Maybe the rain kept the parking authority in for the night. I guess I'll be praying for a rainy winter. 

In other world news, the impossible happened at midnight last night. My mother made a facebook account. I almost fell over when I saw a friend request from her this morning. I have no idea what got over her, and even though I swore that the day she makes a facebook is the day I deactivate my account, I can't help but find it humorous. I tried helping her update her profile, and for some reason she didn't want me to publish things like, "long walks on the beach" in the Interest category, or write "I'm a hip mom of 6, and enjoy gardening and bird watching with the love of my life" for her About Me. What's so wrong with that?? (Hopefully by this point, you're picking up my sacrasm...) 

Oh man.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today I had the opportunity to volunteer for Covenant House's annual Thanksgiving Dinner. 

My day began at 10:30, where I got my apron on and headed into the kitchen to help wrap up their Thanksgiving brunch. A short time later, I realized that the 3 other guys in the kitchen were wearing hats, and I didn't have anything to keep my hair out of the way. I don't take my purse to Covenant House, I only bring what I can fit in my jean pockets, which usually includes my phone, keys, drivers license, and $20 just in case. Because of this, I had no hair tie. I ran to my car to see if I miraculously had one waiting for me, but I didn't. I ended up having to borrow one from one of the girls that work there. 

After doing random kitchen jobs for a while, another volunteer and I helped set the dining room up. I was asked to remove the lids to the things that light on fire to keep the food warm in the serving trays. For the life of me, as you just witnessed, I cannot remember the name. I hate when that happens. Anyway, they gave me a knife to pry open the kid, which resembled a mini paint can. That turned out to be a bad move. Before I even got the first one open, I slipped and sliced my thumb open. Right on the inside. It would not stop bleeding. I went through 3 Band-Aids and gauze throughout the day. That was a little concerning. Of course something like that would happen to me, and all of the kitchen and maintenance staff made fun of me for the rest of the day. 

Sternos! 

That's what they're called. 

The rest of the day went smoothly, the kitchen staff kept me busy without involving knives, a wise move on their part. There was so much going on that I can't even remember half of what I did. When it came time to serve the dinner, I was the food runner. For 2 hours I waited until one of the servers were out of a particular food, and I would exchange their empty tray for a full one. There was a TON of food. 

I met a lot of nice volunteers and staff. It seemed like everyone really looked forward to this dinner. And I now know why, at least in part. The kids were so great. Several times one of them would make an "announcement," thanking everyone for such a great dinner, followed by a round of applause. It's not about being recognized for all the hard work we put in, it was about these kids defying the stereotype of being selfish, mean, and hardened youth. If only the cranky people safe in suburbia could've seen their gratitude, it might replace their "kids these days.." speeches. If only the media could've captured their smiling faces, it might challenge the general public's mentality that all kids living on the streets have permanent frowns and weapons hidden somewhere on their bodies. 

It was a good day, and God saw it. 

When the kitchen was finally sparkly clean, I was told to "get the heck out of my kitchen and go home, woman!" by my new friend Ben, kitchen manager. I was the last volunteer to leave, probably because I don't have a life. 

As I limped out with my sore feet (I was on my feet for 7 hours in flats-poor planning on my part!), sore legs, and a tired back, I couldn't wait to get in my car and sit down!

When I leave Covenant House, I always check my windshield for a parking ticket, just in case. As I mentioned in a previous post, the chances of getting a parking ticket for not feeding the meters are once or twice a year. Much to my dismay, I discovered a white piece of paper tucked under my windshield wiper. My first parking ticket. Ever. And it makes sense that I would get one now because the year is almost over, and I have a lot of lost time to make up for. Oh well, what can you do? Plead guilty and pay the $36 fine.

So to sum up my day in a few phrases, 

-a sliced thumb

-a sore body

-a parking ticket

-blessed just to be a part of it all. 

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Musings

I came across this excerpt from Elisabeth Elliot's book, "Quest for Love." Don't let the corny title distract you, please. This passage is a bold statement and might be controversial, so please take it with a grain of salt or the whole dang shaker if you want. Ok, so here goes. 

"Feminist doctrine has caused bewilderment about the true meaning of masculinity and femininity. We were told that the difference between the sexes was a mere anatomical triviality that had nothing to do with our respective places in society, the workplace, the church, or the home. We believed the lie about equality and interchangeability. As women learned self-assertion and aggressiveness, men learned to feel guilty about being men, and began to back off. Those whom God created to be initiators, protectors, and providers no longer understood their assignment, and women wondered why they were not being sought. 

"A woman lawyer from New York City wrote, 'The church is plagued with weak men and strong women (the latter in much larger numbers.). It seems that men have become effeminate (some to the point of becoming gay) and women have become overly aggressive, both personally and professionally (myself not exempted). The more aggressive "masculine" men (to whom I find myself attracted) are usually non-Christians. Christian men are afraid of commitment, unduly uptight about their sexuality, afraid to express interest.' "

I found that to be very interesting. I know a lot of people would disagree with Elisabeth, but I can't help but agree. Without getting too deep into the messiness of the Feminist movement, or risk sounding like a man hater, I think the definition of masculinity and femininity are a far cry from our original design by God. 

And the woman from NYC vocalized what many of us may secretly or publicly think; that the place that should be free of this social stigma is the very place that seems to present the problem the loudest: the church. 

What is wrong with us? 

As much as I want to react to this passage with a strong "AMEN! Those guys need to get it together!," I know that I'm just as much a part of the problem. Oh the consequences of living in a sinful world! 

I don't have any solutions, but I think it's something worth thinking about, praying about. 

On a completely unrelated note, my 54 year old uncle had a stroke yesterday. It took 24 hours of testing to figure out what even happened, but they said that if my aunt didn't take him to the hospital when she did, he would've died or been paralyzed. 

Life is precious, and time is short. Tell the people you love that you love them. 

God is good.

Cov Love

I finally made it into Covenant House, and 2 days in a row at that! Finally! I was seriously beginning to wonder if I'd ever make it in. I was a little nervous heading into Atlantic City on Monday for my first day. I don't know why, I knew the nerves would dissolve as soon as I walked in the door, and they did. 

I met my supervisor and got started right away on my project: the filing room. I sorted through piles and piles of inactive files to box and send to storage. I could've just listed the names in each box and left it at that, but I'm a boarder line perfectionist when it comes to organization and put each box in alphabetical order.  I couldn't help it. 

Yesterday, my job was a bit more tedious. I had to organize 8 filing drawers in alphabetical order, and then add in 5 piles of loose files. I never realized how deep those filing drawers go, or how many files can actually squeeze into each drawer. One highlight was being able to pull the files of client's over 22 to move to the inactive drawers. It's the little joys like freeing up precious and valuable space in a filing drawer that make it worthwhile.. haha. 

I left with 3 cuticle cuts, 2 Band Aids, and burning shoulders, but all in all, I accomplished a lot in hardly no time at all. I go back today, maybe I should wear gloves?

Another thing worth mentioning, parking is not in Cov's favor. 

There are 2 options. 

1) Side street parking along a residential street with a 3 hour parking limit. 

2) Meter parking on Atlantic Avenue, directly in front of or across the street from the building. 

In my mind, this is the gamble:

Option 1 is free, but not always safe, especially when walking to your car at the end of the night shift, midnight. Plus, it would require moving your car 3 times in the course of one 8 hour shift. 

While option 2 is the safer or the two, it costs $1 per hour, and an 8 hour shift would require many quarters. So you do what any underpaid (or not paid, in my case) social worker would do. Skip feeding the meters. In Ocean City, I'd say that is a bad idea and would most certainly result in a few parking tickets and possibly a boot and tow. In Atlantic City, however, I've been assured that the risk of getting a parking ticket is reduced to once or twice a year. So at $25 a pop, it's worth the risk. 

So I did what I was told, and parked on Atlantic Avenue on Monday. Unfortunately, all the staff park along the block that Covenant House resides on, so after several trips around a few One Way streets, I parked diagonally across the street. I was right on the corner it was well lit, so I figured I'd be as safe there as anywhere. It occurred to me while I was walking back to my car in the dark that night, that it might be a good idea to reconsider my parking location of choice for the future, as I parked in front of a liquor store and had several loiterers gathered around my car. :-)

And on a random note, the term "Cov Love" is used to describe the relationships that blossom between the kids at Covenant House. 

PS. I think I will post some pictures soon. Words get boring. 

Acronyms and Earthquakes

My sister, Amara, is in the DR doing her DTS through YWAM. 

For anyone who is not YWAM savvy, that is.. 

Amara is in the Dominican Republic doing her Discipleship Training School through Youth With A Mission. 

I trail blazed the path to the DR and YWAM, the summer after I graduated High School in 2003. In 2006, my sister Sam went, and now, in 2009, Amara is currently in her outreach phase. 

The DTS is broken down into 2 phases: Lecture and Outreach. 

The lecture phase is around 3 months, and is basically missionary school. 

The outreach phase is around 2 months, and is an opportunity to put into practice what was learned in the lecture phase. 

Amara had decided to follow God's leading for her to go to Costa Rica for her outreach phase. Her team consists of the 2 other Americans in the DTS, and 4 Dominicans, and her team leader. The Americans and one of the Dominicans have their Visas to travel to Costa Rica. 

They were supposed to leave November 5th for their outreach in Costa Rica. Because 5 of their Dominican teammates, including the team leader, could not get their Visas, they put it off a week to attempt to convince the consulate to give them permission to travel. 

After a few attempts at the consulate, and much prayer, their Visas were denied and the decision was made to remain in the DR for the remainder of the outreach phase. The reason why the Visas were denied by the Costa Rican government is because apparently a lot of Dominican woman go to Costa Rica to prostitute themselves, and they don't want to allow any more into their country, even if it's a group of crazy, Jesus-loving missionaries. 

While Amara and the 3 others who have their Visas were given the opportunity to go to Costa Rica without the rest of their team, they decided to stay together and finish the outreach in the DR. 

I have to admit, at this point, I was slightly frustrated, as a selfish American. In my mind, I had thoughts similar to, "You should go anyway! That's not fair!" Obviously, I forgot the teaching on laying down our rights when we're on the mission field. Hold on for a second while I dig up my DTS notebook and review that lesson...

OK. All better. 

So Amara decided to stay in the DR, and their team was headed to a town with no phone reception, so we won't be able to talk to her until next week. Just before she left, she sent Sam a text, basically saying, 

"There was just an earthquake in Costa Rica, in the town we would've been staying in."

If that isn't God's protection, I don't know what is. I think that sometimes we pray for God's direction and plan (to grant the team their Visas), but when it unfolds contrary to what we wanted (not getting the Visas), we don't understand until something big happens like an earthquake that killed 23 in the very place we were supposed to be. At least that's how I feel sometimes. 

Even though this is not happening to me personally, I am seeing so many things come to light regarding my trust in God, even though my sister's experience. Sure, I learned a lot in my own experience in my DTS, but it's a daily struggle and daily growth. 

Sometimes it takes something as big as an earthquake that could've taken my sister away from me forever to shake me back to my senses. 

In the end, God is good. 

That's really all that there is to it. 

God is good. 

His very essence is good. His plans for us are good. Everything He is and ever will be is good. Yes, sometimes He allows bad things to happen, but that is just how it is. And it's not in vain. Good can always come from the bad. It's just how we choose to look at it. 

So I am thankful for God's will including the preservation of my sister,  and I'm thankful for the lesson I was reminded of to trust without questioning. 

What are you thankful for today?

A prayer

So today I spent a few hours transcribing sermons and notes for my pastor. I have no idea how many words per minute I type, but I think I'm pretty fast. But that's really besides the point. 

He quoted a Franciscan prayer, and I thought it was pretty great. So I'm going to share it. 

“May God bless  you with the discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. 

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace. 

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. 

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.”

:-)

3x

God is so good! He knows how I have a hard time making decisions, like which country to donate money to (see last post), so He solved the problem for me, by sending me a total of 3 donations in my name! Now I can use all 3 country options! 

Thank you Mom and Dad, Aunt Allie and family, and Megan! 

I picked Aunt Allie's donation to go to Tanzania, because it will provide water for schools, it made me think of my school-age cousins. 

I decided to send Megan's donation to Liberia, because it will provide water networking through an entire city and I think she would have picked that. 

I went with my initial gut feeling, and sent my parent's donation to the Ivory Coast. This will provide water for health clinics, and well, people cannot get better with poisonous water, can they?

I'm so grateful for my family and friends, and their support in helping others reach enough, starting with clean and safe drinking water. 

Turning 25 has certainly been memorable, especially since I started feeling sicker today. I feel asleep after dinner and haven't been much fun to be around, so I'm requesting a celebration redo, for when I'm officially over this cold/cough. 

In the mean time, please pray about how you can help others who need it. 

It's life changing.  

Birthday Water

It's my birthday today. I'm officially old. The quarter of a century jokes have been heard long before this blissful day, so I'm immune. 

The only reason why I'm posting a blog on my birthday (and not sleeping in!) is because I need help, your participation. I'm not entirely sure how well this will go over, because I'm not entirely sure that any more than 3 people read this. (AMG, Kate, and Beth.. thanks!) But I'm willing to take a chance. 

A while ago, when discussing the sticky subject of what having enough means, I made a decision to give up my birthday. I knew this would be hard for me, because lets face it, who doesn't enjoy whatever gifts their parents give them. But I realized that the only way for me to eventually be comfortable with "enough," I needed to start somewhere by giving up the surplus. 

My sweet friend Kate introduced me to an organization that her friend started, Charity: Water. After just a few minutes of research, I was convinced that my birthday would to go to them. I'll be honest, it was like pulling teeth for me to tell my mom that I want whatever money she would spend on my birthday gift to be donated. But I knew I had to, and if I didn't do it now, I might never be able to. 

I'll admit, I was anticipating this birthday to feel a little slighted, the worldly flesh of greed coming out of me. But this morning when I woke up and saw an email in my inbox from Charity: Water, greed and selfishness were the furthest from my mind and heart. 

This is what I awoke to:

How can this not bring anyone joy, especially on their day of birth?

The email also included a link to select the country to which I designate the money. I had no idea that this decision would be so difficult. All 3 of the countries they provided desperately need clean water, and I cannot decide! So this is where I need help. Not surprising to my nature of indecisiveness, I have come to terms that I just can't decide on my own. I am asking for your input to which country I should send the money to. 

So here we go. 

Country #1 Tanzania. 

Helping a school get clean water by collecting rainwater:

 

"Targeting 5 primary schools in the Karagwe District of Tanzania, charity: water is bringing clean water, bathrooms and hand-washing stations to 2,732 students. Each school is located 2-3 miles away from the current water source, so students are spending over an hour of class time hauling water. Rainwater collection tanks will enable the students and teachers to have clean drinking water readily available, encouraging greater attendance and health."

Country #2 Cote d'Ivoire

Providing clean water to a health clinic by drilling and maintaining new wells:

"Côte d'Ivoire's civil war ended in 2007 leaving a decay of water points in schools and health clinics. This waterproject is targeted in the former Confidence Zone, which divided the country from the rebel North and the South. Currently, no aid organizations are working in the area and people are drinking from open and polluted sources. charity: water wants to help 35 health clinics currently operating without clean water, and rehabilitate freshwater wells in 35 villages."

Country #3 Liberia 

Bringing clean water to urban slum areas by drilling wells and networking pipes:

"This project will target slums surrounding Monrovia, Liberia's capital. In the community of Clara Town, residents are drinking from contaminated water sources and outbreaks of cholera are a constant threat. The objective is to drill deep boreholes, and pipe the fresh water through a network of tap-stands. A focus will also be placed on improving sanitary conditions in the slum to keep the water sources clean. Over 30,000 people will directly benefit from this project."

Can you please help me decide? Comment which country you think I should pick. I have 7 days to decide. Obviously it really doesn't matter which one, they all need it the same, but just humor me anyway. It's my birthday. :-)

I think everyone should try giving up their birthday to a good cause at least once. It's so rewarding, much more than any gift received. Watch just a few videos on the Charity: Water website and tell me it's not a worthy cause. What's even better, is that unlike most charity organizations, Charity: Water donates 100% of what you give. No money is taken out for overhead expenses. So, think about it. Pray about it. Challenge yourself to live with enough, and with your excess, help others make it to enough.

www.charitywater.org

Thanks! 

On the Mend

I'm finally feeling better! Better enough to finally make it in to my first shift at Covenant House! I'm so happy, but at the same time, I've been so used to doing nothing that doing something feels foreign. I hate that. Home has been my warm bed for the past week, it won't be easy saying goodbye. 

It'll also be strange working from 4-12 tonight. Last night I looked at the clock at 6:15 and it hit me, if I went into work yesterday, I'd only have been working for little over 2 hours. 2 hours out of an 8 hour shift. It's going to be a long night. Especially since the last time I worked was in July, and it was 5 hour shifts. I was spoiled at Ocean Academy. 

But as comfortable as I've gotten in the world of Doing Nothing, it is time to move on. 

I've been getting the sense lately that, even though I have yet to officially start volunteering at Covenant House, my time there is ordained from God. The organization resounds with almost everything I've wanted to do, and it's so awesome to have the opportunity to be a part of such a profound act of love to "the least of these."

It's almost as if God is pointing directly to Covenant House. I don't know what my future will look like in that organization, but as of now, my life is definitely heading in that direction. God is rooting out alternatives left and right. For starters, a couple of months ago, I applied for a few jobs (that I really didn't want anyway), and I've yet to hear back from them. I think that is God getting rid of those options. He knows how I have a hard time making big life decisions, so He's eliminating a few options for me. Isn't He great?

Another example would be DYFS. 

Most people in my life know that I applied for a job and interviewed with the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services. Though it's certainly a hard job, I felt like I could do a decent job at it and if nothing else, show my clients and their families the love of Christ. DYFS has a pretty negative reputation, and I've had to defend my decision to potentially work for them countless times. I think I was also trying to convince myself that I wanted to work there, too. 

After my interview in July, I was told that the process could take up to 12 months to be offered a job. So when other job opportunities came up, I always had to decide if I wanted to work there or wait for DYFS. Most of the time, the decisions have always been made regardless of DYFS, but it always managed to come up anyway. It was very frustrating and I almost felt choked by it, even though it was always just a potential job. 

I have to admit, I felt pretty good about my application and interview, I thought it went well. Sure, it could've been better, those things always can, but I definitely don't think I bombed it. I guess I'll never know. I received a letter last week while I was sick. My mom was all excited because she was sure they were offering me a job. I hoped she was wrong, because this always happens. As soon as I find an alternative to DYFS that I might really enjoy (Covenant House), I might be faced with a decision, to pick DYFS or what I enjoy. (I guess I should mention at this point that the benefits to working for the state are very tempting.) So I opened the letter. 

"Dear Tiffany Mills,

Thank you for attending and being available for an interview at the Job Fest held in July. We appreciate the fact that you were interested in employment with the Department of Children and Families and for making yourself available for an interview. 

After carefully reviewing your application and/or the results of your interview, it has been determined that you will not be considered for the position with the Department. Your name will be removed from our list of potential candidates.

Once again, thank you for your interest in employment with the Department of Children and Families. Best of luck in all future career endeavors."

OK, so I didn't get the job. 

Emotion Check:

-Relief

-Confusion

-Rejection

-Joy

-Confidence 

I didn't get the job with DYFS. Phew! I didn't want to work there anyway.

But why? What did I do wrong? Did I not have enough experience? Did I bomb the interview?

I'm a loser. DYFS won't even hire me. 

(You don't even need a Social Work or related degree to apply. Anyone with a 4 year degree can. Chemists can.)

Now I don't have to CHOOSE between a good pay check or doing what I love. 

God chose for me. 

I get to work, even as a volunteer, for an organization that I believe in, helping a population that my heart breaks for, and maybe it will lead to a more permanent job with a pay check. 

God cares about me enough that He'd take the time to eliminate opportunities so I don't have to be confused and tormented throughout the decision process. I don't have to second guess my decisions or feel anything but confident, because my God loves me and knows what is best for me, even when I don't. Even though it's tempting for me to feel like a loser, I can choose not to. 

This is just another example in my life of God's supremacy. 

So, with all that said, I can't wait to start my first shift tonight! (Hopefully!!)

Update:

My supervisor called out today. This means the soonest I'll make it in to Covenant House this week is Thursday! I can't really complain though, since I'm still not 100% better. My mom told me this afternoon that if I go in tonight (before learning of my supervisors absence), everyone will hate me because of my cough. Try as I may to suppress it, I just can't! So, it worked out for the best. Whenever I finally make it in, it'll be the perfect timing for everyone. God works likes that. :-)

LMN4LIFE

Do you know the scene in You've Got Mail, when Meg Ryan is sick in bed, and Tom Hanks comes over to visit? That's exactly how I look and feel. Minus the visit from Tom Hanks. 

Man, I am sick. The persistent cough has traveled north to my nose, and now I have what seems to be a full-fledged sinus infection. I'll spare you the rest of the details, but needless to say, I had to call out for the rest of the week from Covenant House. I'm super bummed, but there's really nothing I can do about it, except rest, take medicine, and get better when my body and the good Lord sees fit. 

Oh, and watch lots of made-for-TV movies. 

Sometimes I think that the Lifetime Movie Network was made just for me! Yesterday, my relationship with LMN reached a new level. 

It started with The Pact, beginning at 10 am. A woman coped with the planned suicide of her daughter, and the role that her daughters boyfriend and next door neighbor had in her death. 

That brought me to Chasing Secrets at 12 pm, telling the story of a white girl illegitimately born to an abusive bootleggers family in the South, and the loving, elderly black couple that took care of her secretly. 

A Strange Affair was on at 2 pm, and was true to the title: strange. A jaded woman, just hours after leaving her reckless husband, finds out he had a stroke. She returns to give him the 24-7 care he now requires, while slowly befriending and emotionally depending on her car mechanic. Eventually the mechanic becomes her new tenant to a basement apartment, and the 3 of them oddly form an unlikely bond until the husbands untimely death. 

Keeping to the "strange" theme, at 4 pm I watched The Heart of a Stranger, a true story of a woman whose personality and habits change drastically upon receiving the heart from a young donor. 

The real low point of the day came at 6 pm, when I begrudgingly watched The Fantasia Barrino Story. In my weak defense, there was literally nothing else on that was remotely as bearable. While watching the life of an American Idol unfold, I couldn't help but wonder what she's doing now. Obviously the movie was made at the height of her career, but that was a few years ago. 

Side Note: I thought the answer to the question, "If a movie was made about your life, who would you want to portray you?" was somewhere along the lines of "someone wonderfully famous!" not, "me, duh!"

The real highlight of my day was bookends to my low point. I waited all day for 8 pm. I've seen For the Love of a Child before, and would venture to say that it's my favorite LMN movie. It's about 2 women who co-found ChildHelp USA. Essentially they save the lives of thousands of children living in abuse. I know I'll sound like a major cheese-ball right now, but I can't help it: it's such an inspiring movie! 

At 10 pm, before I had a chance to get emotionally involved with The Ron Clark Story, I decided to change the channel. Never fear, I'll watch Ron Clark on DVR today! 

So, go ahead, do the math. I'll help. I watched 6 LMN movies. At 2 hours a pop, that totals 12 whopping hours of Lifetime. But what's a girl to do when she's reduced to a sneezy mess? 

Anyway, today is a new day. I think I'll look for You've Got Mail, and fill my head with the wonderfully ridiculous notions of chick flicks. 

To end this, I think a Meg Ryan quote from You've Got Mail is fitting. 

In an email to Tom Hanks:

"The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just wanted to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings."

Setbacks

I was supposed to start my first shift volunteering at the Covenant House tonight. 

I did not.

I had a low grade fever for the past two nights, a touch of nausea, and a dang cough that won't seem to go away. My supervisor and I thought it would be best to hold off another day. Of course I'm paranoid that I'll get swine flu, and I'm slowly but surely becoming a germaphobe. 

While I'm grateful for another day of rest, I'm super frustrated because I just want to get in there do the job that they presented me with, and do it well. I'm hoping I'll feel better enough to make it in tomorrow.

I try not to pull out the "Satan" card too often, but I think there is something to be said for demonic interference of something that God can really use for His benefit. 

For example: When I dropped off my volunteer application, it got misplaced, which means more time needed to process everything and get the ball rolling. 

For example: I fell and injured my back the day after orientation was completed, which means more time before I come in for my first shift.

For example: Now I'm sick and essentially had to call out on my first day. How lame! 

If anything, I'm going to start my first shift with a vengeance and work like a dog, when I eventually make it in!

I know first impressions aren't binding, and no one can fault someone for being sick, but I really have a good feeling about this place and what God is going to do through me and within me during my time there. I want to do a good job for His glory. 

So, heres to a healthy Wednesday! 

Wipe Out

I fell down my steps today. 

I mean, I totally wiped out. 

My bedroom is in the refinished attic, with steep, carpeted steps. I usually am a beast at, like, flying down those steps without injury. Usually, being the key term. It didn't help that I was wearing slipper socks, with no traction at all. 

As I hit the bottom of the steps, I couldn't do anything but lay there for a good minute and a half. My back, neck, head, and shoulders ached, and my arms were above my head. My left elbow burned, as did my right hand. I noticed that there was a tiny cut on the palm of my hand, which definitely hurt more than it should've. Then my left shoulder started sending sharp pains down my arm. I called for Sam, but she didn't hear me. It's a good thing I wasn't dying, no one would've come to my rescue! 

I finally pulled myself up and made it to my parents room. I collapsed in their bed for the next hour and a half, until my mom finally came home and brought me Motrin. 

It's funny to me that I fell down my steps. And apparently it's funny to everyone else who I tell. Doesn't this only really happen to little children or the elderly? I know it sounds silly, but it really did hurt! 

Now, the use of my shoulder has limited movement and my back is stiff and sore. I feel like I was in a car accident, though I only have my imagination and hospital television shows to figure out what a car accident feels like. 

In other world news, but to a some-what related matter,

I heard on the radio yesterday morning that BBC wants to officially rewrite the ending to the childhood classic, "Humpty Dumpty." They said it was too depressing and upsetting to children that all the King's men couldn't put him together again. So, in order to protect the fragile emotions of the little Brits and children around the world, they are petitioning to change the ending to......

...drumroll please...

"All the King's horses and all the King's men, 

...............MADE HUMPTY DUMPTY HAPPY AGAIN."

Are you kidding me? 

Apparently life doesn't shatter, and all stories end with a happy ending. Including the lives of children of divorced parents, incarcerated parents, murdered parents; neglected children, orphaned children, hungry children, and emotionally and mentally deprived children. 

Let's ignore the reality of this very broken world and fill little impressionable minds with fluff and nonsense. 

So what happens to Jack and Jill? 

Do they sue the property owner for their tumble? 

Do they move into the 21st century with running water?

Time for more Mortin. 

Back to school

I forgot I had this blog for a few days. 

This past weekend I was a college student again. 

Well, minus the lectures, reading, homework, and exams, but more along the lines of living the social life of a college student. 

I stayed up well past my granny-esque bedtime of 10 pm. (WELL past.) I woke up ridiculously late too. I visited 2 different Good Wills in the course of 2 days. I am THRILLED of my purchases of 6 Milk Glass products for the grand total of $3.94, including tax! I ate at Panera 4 times within 5 days. And ordered almost the same thing every time. (U Pick 2: French Onion soup and Chicken Bacon Dijon panini, side of chips and an Iced Green Tea for here, thank you very much.) I watched a few chick flicks in the middle of the day. I got dressed up for a birthday dinner and only ordered a sampler appetizer plate, to save money, naturally. I captured crazy moments on camera. I posted said captured moments on Facebook shortly after. I went apple picking and took a picture with Ronnie Jr., a race car driving Scarecrow. I made new friends. It has been made official on Facebook. I laughed a lot. 

I had fun. 

I do not regret my real college experience at all. Living off campus with my grandmother was such a blessing, both financially and being able to spend quality time with her. My semester living in the school apartments was wonderful. I had a great roommate and had friends who made my time there worthwhile, and gave me a lot of great memories throughout college.

I have to be honest though, and say that my college experience was totally different than the one I lived for a weekend in Virginia. Not nearly as high paced and crazy. Granted, I'm an old woman now, and I'm not sure I could keep up with those young whippersnappers anymore... (jk).. but it was fun seeing the other side, the side I didn't quite have. 

In light of the events that unfolded during my trip to the South, I decided that when I (hopefully) attend grad school (hopefully) next fall, I'm going to be the most outrageously fun grad student ever. I'm going to have a sweet apartment, throw together sweet shindigs, host sweet dinner parties, and basically just be cool. You should really try to stay friends with me for that. :-)

And for the record, I don't know how people go to school that requires a drive more than 3 hours away from home. Being 1.5 hours away from home at PBU spoiled me. The 7.5 it took to get to Liberty nearly killed me. 

no title

My current thoughts:

1) Packing list for a road trip I'm embarking on tomorrow with my "crew." Also known as Sam, Megan, and Becca. We're going to Liberty University to celebrate Karissa's 21st birthday. 

2) The weather while in Virginia. Forecast is calling for rain and temperatures in the upper 40's to low 50's. Most of the plans we made involved the outdoors, so we'll see how that goes!

3) The weather in Virginia after we leave. Clear skies, sun, and temperatures in the mid to upper 60's. Go figure.

4) All my winter clothes that are still in the back of my car from a quick trip to Pennsylvania to retrieve them from my grandmother's house. I have to unload my car, unpack my clothes, sort through them, and put them away.

5) Put away summer clothes

6) Weighing the pros and cons of moving in with my grandparents. Long story.

7) It's currently 11:11 pm. Make a wish.

8) I can't forget to pack my phone charger. 

9) Mom has me paranoid now that my car will explode somewhere on I-95.

10) My dinner at Panera tonight was delish. I wish we had one around here. But then again, I'd be too tempted to spend all the money I don't have. 

11) I pretty much have the cutest Chinese boy in the world sleeping in his room right below me. 

12) Facebook chat is on my last nerve lately. Facebook in general is on my last nerve. Lame.

13) Why do adults #1, let children (babies) do things like smoke cigarettes, #2, laugh at it, and #3, post a video of it online? 

14) I'm tired.

15) Shoot. Being tired is something that I'll experience more frequently since I'll be 25 in less than a month. Sweet.

Goodnight.

No Man's Land

Friday is my day to clean the bathroom. It's my least favorite chore. I'd do anything to avoid it. Unfortunately, being the oldest means I have to set the example and do it anyway. Man, do I hate responsibility!

Since this past Friday was a crazy day, I got to the bathroom today. We're putting a new roof on the barn, and my dad, uncles and cousin have been quite hungry and thirsty, which has kept me and my mom quite busy. 

Every Friday (or occasionally, a Saturday), I am faced with a decision. I can either complete my chore the right way, by taking my time and cleaning the nooks and crannies that can easily be forgotten, or I can cheat. I'll be honest, I've done a lazy job many times before. A quick spot-clean may be the Band-Aid to satisfy the landlords (aka my parents), but deep down inside, I know it wasn't done properly. And again, I'll be honest and say that I hate cleaning the bathroom enough that it really doesn't bother me. 

Today I was faced with that decision. Do it right or cheat. The decision came to me while I was on my knees, spraying down my worst nightmare: the toilet. 

More specifically, an area I like to call "No Man's Land." 

No Man's Land is the tiny space between the toilet and the wall, where dust and hair seem to congregate, where eyes overlook and vacuum's don't reach. As if toilets were not disgusting enough as is, there's nothing worse than putting your face inches from a dirty one.  

So here I sat, taking 30 seconds to evaluate and make a decision. Do I do my job properly and thoroughly clean my designated room, including No Man's Land? Or do I avert my little eyes and get the heck out!?

After having a silent battle with my conscience, I decided to exercise the mature and responsible side of myself. Oh the agony of growing up!

So, I ventured into No Man's Land. It was a quick trip. I did what I had to do, though I sent OCD tendencies on vacation. This was one of those moments that called for quick action and not perfectionism. 

It's not easy doing the right thing, even as insignificant as cleaning a bathroom. 

I am pretty sure my efforts are worthy of a Nobel Peace Prize or something, since they seem to be throwing them around like candy these days. 

But that's a whole other topic. 

And for the record, I realize how lame my life has become, that I resort to blogging about bathrooms. I can find humor in my situation, so I fully consent to your laughter directed my way. Please, laugh it up. 

Also for the record, the bathroom glistened after I was through with it. 

Palabra.

Homecoming

This weekend was PBU's Homecoming, or Crimson Celebration if you're really into school spirit. I am not, so I will stick with Homecoming.  I have to admit, I have never attended Homecoming as a student. It would have interfered with said lack of school spirit. But, as I now fall into the "Alumni" category, I felt it was time for me to break tradition. A Social Work event also piqued my interest to return. Ok, basically it was the only reason I decided to return. 

So, off I went, back to familiar territory. 

It almost felt normal, going back. Like, I had never graduated, and I was waiting for summer to end so the fall semester could begin, with me included. School has been the only thing I've known for most of my life, and I haven't quite left the transition stage yet. But please don't get me wrong, there's nothing more I enjoy than NOT doing homework. 

As soon as I walked into the Biblical Learning Center aka classrooms, I was greeted by a familiar scent: the smell of college, quite literally. It's strange how different places and buildings can have different smells, isn't it?

Anyway, the Social Work event was held in the lecture hall, where our SW chapels are held. As soon as I took my usual seat in the 2nd row to the front on the right side, I felt like I was attending a SW chapel, sitting next to my friends whom I graduated with. It was so good seeing everyone. There were 9 of us, representing the May '09 class. 

Possibly my least favorite part of the event was when we were asked to go around the lecture hall and stand, introducing ourselves, our graduation date, and the scariest question of all... what we've been doing since. 

Though I was sitting next to a couple of friends who are also in my current employment predicament, I was the first to stand. So, I stood, introduced myself, and said with a smile, "I'm still waiting on the right job." I was so very thankful to sit down. 

Afterwards, my friends and I mingled and caught each other up on the latest happenings of our lives. Marriages, grad school, employment. Unemployment. 

Because we never seem to have a party without an after party, we continued the festivities of our reunion in Allyson's home. Five of us girls, plus a husband and boyfriend, spent a few hours talking. And boy, did we talk. We covered almost every area of the conversational spectrum, with a Social Work focus, of course. It was so encouraging to be with like-minded friends, realizing that I'm not alone in the thoughts and frustrations that fill my mind. 

I admit, since graduation, nearly 5 months ago, I have nearly forgotten how much I love and appreciate the friendships created in the PBU Social Work class of '09. For the past few years, these people have been my rock, my family away from home. Being with them on Saturday awakened me to the realization that I really do miss the fellowship and community found with them. Though we all come from different backgrounds and have different personality quirks, we all love God and want to see the relief of social injustice globally. We've been through the process together. We've cried and laughed together. And not to pull the Social Work card, but there is a greater level of understanding that comes from traveling that educational path together. 

So hopefully it won't be another 5 months before we see each other again. Hopefully it will be much sooner. I need them in my life. 

All Dogs Go To Heaven

I vaguely remember watching that movie as a child. I used to think the notion of it was ludicrous, and I still do. Maybe it's because I'm not that big of an animal person. (OK, honest fest: I'm no where NEAR close to being an animal person.) Despite having approximately 4 animals in my house at one time, I'm still not a fan. 

However, emotion still creeps up and gets the best of me (if only for a brief 30 seconds) when a pet dies. I can't even believe I'm admitting that, but it's true. 

When I was in high school, our first pet died. Sam's rabbit, Butterscotch. Sam discovered her death just before her bus came, and she was so upset that she had to stay home from school to mourn the loss. 

Maybe a year later, my rabbit, Pepsi, committed suicide on Halloween. No, really, it's true. He jumped out of his hutch and broke his neck. Sam discovered him, again, before school. She claims his fateful jump was a desperate attempt to join his beloved hutch-mate in "pet heaven." If you're noticing the trend of Sam checking on the rabbits, that's because a few years after we got the rabbits, I gave up ownership and any responsibility that came along with the territory. 

After the rabbits, we had a long stretch of pet longevity. 

Our friend Tom gave my brother a Beta fish for Christmas 2 years ago, in an attempt to drive my parents crazy. He figured, as most people would, that the fish would only last a few weeks at most. He was wrong. That thing survived broken bowls, cat swats, several visits to the garbage disposal, and exposure to accidental "chemical spills." Jon named him Tommy Hank, in honor of Tom. He lived a long life, and we memorialized his life in a special toilet-side ceremony, a few months ago.

Last December, we put down a pet for the first time. Our first real pet, a yellow cat named Daisy. She was around 14 years old, had cancer, cataracts in her eyes, and peed in our bathroom linen closet whenever she got the chance, not to mention on beds, pillows, shoes, and on whatever pile of softness she stumbled upon. There's nothing like grabbing a towel after a refreshing shower and realizing Daisy got to it first. 

So my parents decided to put an end to her suffering, and also to protect Jon and Grace from finding her dead at home. I can't even believe it, but I shed a tear when saying goodbye to Daisy. Grace was hysterically sobbing, which ultimately made me cry (that's my story, and I'm sticking with it.) To console her, I bought a wooden cross and some yellow paint, and we worked on a grave marker for her resting place behind the tractor shed, next to Butterscotch and Pepsi. 

Now our first dog, Rosie, is on her way out. She has a fractured leg, and the cast caused a nasty infection on her leg, which is pretty disgusting and raw. She has arthritis and gross stuff coming out of her eyes. The doctor said she's not long for this world. It's sad, because even though her barking can drive a person mad at times, she has been a pretty good pet. Even I'll admit that, despite the insane amount of hair that comes off her whenever she is touched. It'll be sad when she goes. I broke the news to Amara that there's a good chance she'll come home from the Dominican Republic in December and find Rosie gone. She wimpered. Sam shed a tear. I'll wait til the moment comes to get emotional about it. 

Despite all the pet death that's been going on, we still manage to have two healthy dogs and one lively cat left. It's ridiculous. 

I'm not entirely sure why I just dedicated a post about dead animals. I'm not going to connect it to any weird philosophical ideas or theories. That would be weird. I guess I'm just reflecting on the subject as Rosie is heading out. And even though I'm generally anti-pet, it's sad to see a household fixture depart. I make sure to give her head a little pat once in a while, like I'm doing my part or something. 

On a lighter and completely different note, I sat in my room tonight with my friend Megan and my sister Sam, and listened to them go through the 60,001 Best Baby Names book to name all of Megan's potential future children. I won't embarrass her by listing some of the worst names she suggested, but let me tell you, she had us laughing pretty hard a few times. My favorite part of the night was this conversation:

Me: "Megan, I don't know why you're even bothering, you know I am going to just call your kids 'Annoying' and 'Brat'!"

Megan: "Why do I get the feeling that my kids are going to be the butt of everyone's jokes?"

Me: "Because they will be."

Sam, mocking: "Oh hey! Whose dog is that outside? Oh never mind, it's just Megan's son."

Megan: "Hey!"

Sam, mocking again: "Kids, get off Megan's daughter! She's not a horse!"

Megan: "Why do I feel like Sam's kids are going to be beautiful and have flowing brown hair, and my kids will look like ogres with pasty skin?"

Me: "Because they will."

Yea, we have a fun relationship. 

PS... I'd like to dedicate this post to Chinese medicine. ASR, you rock.