foster the people. not the band, the people!

Dang. Now I have the dumb song stuck in my head.

So the idea of fostering and adoption has always been a conversation my family had growing up, and two and a half years ago my family made that conversation a reality with the homecoming of my sweet baby brother Jacob, from China.

To say that our lives have changed would be an understatement. There aren't words to effectively express how much he means to me. I mean, look at this kid. Even if he was the baddest kid on the block, that face would just melt anyone.

And when you tell him to get ready for bed and he comes down dressed like this, how can you not just eat him up for dessert?!

My point isn't to brag about having probably the cutest 5 year old brother on the Eastern Seaboard, though that would be an accurate point, without a doubt. My point is that the quality of my life has drastically improved with the addition of a child living on the other side of the world that was a total stranger to me just three years ago.

I know that everyone doesn't have the means and ability to adopt, and I'm not about to write a dissertation on why it's important to adopt, but I will say this: God cares for the widowed and orphaned, and calls us to do the same (James 1:27).

There is a lot of hurt and pain in the world, and an unfortunate amount of children around the world experience that hurt and pain at a painfully young age. I am excited to see what God has in store for my future and how it will involve caring for orphans, both domestically and internationally.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and share an otherwise private dream of mine. I've shared this idea with people before, and the typical response that I've gotten is,

"Are you serious?"

"Why?"

"I could NEVER do that!"

"It would be WAY too hard"

"I'm just not prepared for the consequences!"

And my favorite,

"You're crazy."

At 27, I've come to terms with my crazy ideas and unconventional dreams, and choose to embrace them! Yes, I'm crazy. Deal with it.

So, my idea.

When I grow up and move out of my parent's house (another unconventional dream!), I want to be a temporary foster mom for older kids. I want to have a guest bedroom that will have a closet stocked with clothes, all different sizes. I want to be Jesus to a hurting child, even for a few days, while they're on their difficult journey through the system. I will do this with or without a husband. (Yes, I said it.) And if, along the way, a particular child needs me to be their forever family, I will be open to having the adoption conversation with that child. Also, with or without a husband. I want to be able to say to my first child, "I chose you."

This is my crazy idea, my unconventional dream, and I embrace it fully! I've had this dream for a few years now, and it really means something to me. Whatever the future may bring, I hope this idea has an opportunity to blossom and come to fruition.

I was so excited and blessed to meet a friend of a friend over the weekend, who shared that crazy idea of mine, and is in the process of living it out with her husband. At 30, this woman is fostering a 14 year old boy with the intent to adopt him. I was so encouraged to hear her story, and to know that I'm not the only crazy person out there with crazy ideas.

That's all I really wanted to share, and now I must go and continue researching the process of becoming a foster parent. It's never a bad thing to be prepared and educated, right?!

Take a minute, think about what you can do and how you can be involved in caring for the orphans. It's the right thing to do.

:-)

I'm baaack!

So it's been roughly a million years since I've even looked at this blog, and I realized that I kinda miss it. I also realized that since I'm now out of school for the rest of my life (hallelujah), I don't really have a sounding board anymore for issues that really bug me, especially those concerning social injustices and violations of basic human rights that occur at an alarming rate around the world. With the exception of precious few get-togethers with my kindred spirit social worker friends, I really don't have a place to vent. So that's what I'm doing. Venting. And thinking. And processing. And trying to understand the 'why' and what can be done about reversing it.

My God is a merciful and loving God, who cares for the "least of these," who are often the ones who experience injustice more than anyone else, and I know that it breaks His heart. He's loving, but He's also just, and whether it be on this earth or eternity, justice will win.

Sometimes it's hard to accept this truth, coming from a God who often seems far removed from the problems of this life. But if God lives in His children, then he is front and center to the pain and suffering that they are experiencing, and experiences it with them.

I found this picture and really feel like it sums up one of the greatest struggles that people seem to have with God. For me, it serves as a reminder that I am God's hands and feet, and by participating in relieving just a crumb of the injustice happening, it is God working through me.

Be encouraged, and always look for a way to help, even if it's as simple as smiling at a stranger.

:-)

Hello! Goodbye.

Oh, Blog, where did you go? 

The answer:

To the back of my mind, where only cobwebs dwell. 

It is completely insane how consumed my life is with work. I don't really care to bother with the details, but I basically work, sleep, wake up super late, catch up on a few shows on DVR, then get ready for work again. I have no life. 

But it's ok, I like my job. It is the main source of stress in my life, but I like it nonetheless. It's weird, too, that before my job, I always thought I knew what stress was, but man, I've never experienced this kind of stress before. 

Social Work is NOT for the faint of heart. 

So, until I can better manage my time, I am going to take an Interim from The Interim. 

As if you didn't notice that yet. 

BYE!

Isaiah 58

     "Cry loudly, do not hold back;

Raise your voice like a trumpet,

         And declare to My people their transgression

         And to the house of Jacob their sins.

     "Yet they seek Me day by day and delight to know My ways,

         As a nation that has done righteousness

         And has not forsaken the ordinance of their God 

         They ask Me for just decisions,

         They delight in the nearness of God. 

    'Why have we fasted and You do not see?

         Why have we humbled ourselves and You do not notice?'

         Behold, on the day of your fast you find your desire,

         And drive hard all your workers. 

    "Behold, you fast for contention and strife and to strike with a wicked fist 

         You do not fast like you do today to make your voice heard on high. 

    "Is it a fast like this which I choose, a day for a man to humble himself?

         Is it for bowing one's head like a reed

         And for spreading out sackcloth and ashes as a bed?

         Will you call this a fast, even an acceptable day to the LORD? 

    "Is this not the fast which I choose,

         To loosen the bonds of wickedness,

         To undo the bands of the yoke,

         And to let the oppressed go free

         And break every yoke? 

    "Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry

         And bring the homeless poor into the house;

         When you see the naked, to cover him;

         And not to hide yourself from your own flesh? 

    "Then your light will break out like the dawn,

         And your recovery will speedily spring forth;

         And your righteousness will go before you;

         The glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. 

    "Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;

         You will cry, and He will say, 'Here I am '

         If you remove the yoke from your midst,

         The pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness, 

    And if you give yourself to the hungry

         And satisfy the desire of the afflicted,

         Then your light will rise in darkness

         And your gloom will become like midday. 

   "And the LORD will continually guide you,

         And satisfy your desire in scorched places,

         And give strength to your bones;

         And you will be like a watered garden,

         And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail. 

    "Those from among you will rebuild the ancient ruins;

         You will raise up the age-old foundations;

         And you will be called the repairer of the breach,

         The restorer of the streets in which to dwell.

    "If because of the sabbath, you turn your foot

         From doing your own pleasure on My holy day,

         And call the sabbath a delight, the holy day of the LORD honorable,

         And honor it, desisting from your own ways,

         From seeking your own pleasure

         And speaking your own word, 

   Then you will take delight in the LORD,

         And I will make you ride on the heights of the earth;

         And I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father,

         For the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

Road Trip

I started this blog out with complaining about the snow. Then I realized that I sounded like the most annoying Debbie Downer ever. A few taps of the delete button, and I'm forcing myself to redirect and think positively. 

I had a great visit with a great friend last night. We did what we usually do, plan our weddings. This time, though, it was for real, which is always a nice change of pace! We searched for the perfect songs for different parts of Sam's upcoming wedding, and mostly ended up with the most inappropriately hysterical songs. 

I slept over, and while her bed was the most heavenly piece of mattress that had ever graced my spinal cord and extremities, for the life of me, I could not fall asleep. It's not like we stayed up that late either. We went to bed shortly before 12:30, and after laying there for a while, I looked at my phone and was shocked to see that it was 2:57 am. I'm thinking I eventually fell asleep around 3:30-4, because the dog woke me up and it was still dark out, so it was probably around 6. I finally got up at 9. Crazy. 

My hour and a half drive home went a lot better than my drive there. Let me just recap. 

I was already running late, and my stop to Shop Rite and Wawa for gas only made me later. 

I was getting on the Expressway, and it wasn't until I was already on the ramp that I realized I got on the wrong ramp. I was supposed to go west towards Philly, and instead, I was headed into Atlantic City. My brain is so programmed from work that it just happened automatically without thinking. So I had to get off at the first exit and turn around (2 tolls later!)

I almost missed the exit to 295, my next leg of the journey, and had to cut off 2 lanes of high speed rush hour traffic to make the exit. 

On 295, I legitimately missed my exit for Florence, NJ. My directions called the exit something else, so I didn't think it was it, until I passed it, then I realized it was in fact the right exit. I got off at the next exit, turned around, and got off the right place.

So far, I messed up each leg of the trip. I got to Rt. 130 without problems, and even got off at the right street. But then my directions called for a left on 9th street, which would be the 3rd left. Except there were no streets named 9th street. So of course I passed the right street, which was not called 9th street, and Sam's fiance had to talk me through until I made it. 

Phew. 

It was exhausting! But worth the visit. :-)

PS - I'm so excited, she's having her wedding cake made by THE Cake Boss! How fun!

PSS- I'm so excited, she's wearing my dream dress! Like, the exact dress I picked out! (For fun, of course)

Adjusting

Adjusting is hard, especially when it comes to new schedules. 3 days into my new routine, and it's not going so well.

I get home from my shift between 12:30-12:45 am, and on a good night, will be ready to sleep by 1 am. Then I sleep until 9, but am usually still so tired that I lay in bed "waking up" until 11 am. So by the time I get out of bed and downstairs, my mom and sister are usually getting lunch ready. I say hi to Jake, make lunch, talk about work the night before (if I can even remember anything), maybe catch up on a TV show that was DVRed, etc. By 2 - 2:30 pm, I need to shower and get ready for work. By 3:30, I'm ready to fly out the door. I manage to catch a glimpse of Jonny, say hi and bye, grab a snack and a water bottle, and I'm gone. I haven't seen my father since Sunday. Collectively I've exchanged one lonely hug and a few sentences with Jon over the course of 3 days. I haven't eaten a meal with my whole family in days. Somehow I managed to get out of bed by 10 today, a new personal best, and even made it to the gym for 45 minutes with my sister. (!!!)

This is my new life.

It's weird.

Thursday and Friday are my new Saturday and Sunday.

I'm going to need a little more time to let this sink in.

Plans (and How They Change)

Finally, an update on my own life. I've been blog lazy, what can I say? Too much real life happenings, not enough internet telling time. 

I guess the big thing that is going on is that a full-time position opened up at Covenant House. I was encouraged to apply for it, and I did. A week after I applied, I was asked to come in for an interview. Then a few hours later at work, another per diem employee stopped in to fill out the same job application. I was nervous at that point because the job is for the boys team, and for obvious reasons, male staff, in my mind, would be preferred. As this particular per diem employee is, in fact, male, I thought for sure that the job would go to him. I was a little disappointed at the fictional outcome that I created in my mind, but it didn't take long for me to create a "Plan B." 

I found out about an orphanage in Haiti, that is in dire need of financial donations as well as volunteers. It is run by a selfless, God-loving woman, along the North Haiti-Dominican boarder, roughly 9 hours away from Port-Au-Prince. She was asked to receive orphans that survived the quake, or became newly orphaned after the quake. Like any determined and faith-filled missionary, she said yes. To 200 orphans. She has no idea where they'll sleep or how she'll feed them, but she said yes. After visiting her website (www.danitaschildren.org) and a website created for the post-quake help she'll need (www.helpdanita.org), I decided that if I didn't get the full time position, I'll continue working per diem and have the flexibility to take 2 weeks off to go to Haiti to help. 

Plan B was set. I was getting excited. I felt peace that whatever the outcome, I would be ok and have something to look forward to. To be honest, I was leaning a little bit more towards Plan B, as I really feel the need to help Haiti in their time of distress. 

So my interview came at 9 am Friday morning, and it went well. It was one of the easiest and most pleasant interviews I've had, which is probably due to the fact that I already work there and know the person interviewing me. She told me that I'd hear from HR by Tuesday.

After the interview, I went home and made plans to visit a friend in Virginia for a few days, from Tuesday to Friday. We were both really pumped about the visit. I've felt the urge lately to do something sporadic and random, so this trip would do the trick. 

Not 10 minutes after I finalized plans to go to Virginia, my phone rang. It was Covenant House. They offered me the job. 3 hours after my interview. I accepted. They want me to start on Monday.

I was really surprised. I thought for sure that Mr. Per Diem was getting the job. I thought for sure that I was going to Haiti. I know I'm crazy, but I have to admit, I was (and still am) a little disappointed that I can't go now. Obviously this is where God wants me right now, and the timing is still not there for me to go to Haiti (a dream I've had since 2003). I am very excited about the job and finally having a full-time position (and salary!), it's just funny how these things work out. 

Then I realized that I have to cancel my trip to Virginia, since I'll be in the full time schedule. That was a little disappointing, too, but again, it just wasn't the right time I guess. Who knows why, but I have to trust that God's plan is better than mine. 

So now that I legitimately am a working woman, I have to shuffle my life around to fit my new work schedule, which essentially eliminates any hopes for a social life. But it's ok, it's what I need to do and where I need to be right now. The reality of being a real adult now has started to set it, and it hasn't been that nice to me. I think I have a phobia of commitment. Working per diem helped facilitate that phobia, as my schedule was unpredictable and unstable. As long as I had that instability, I felt like the "real world" was in the far distance. I  realize how ridiculous I sound in this, but the transition from dependent to independent has not been an easy road for me, especially since I'm 25 and still living at home.  

So here's another step in the independent direction. Not sure how it'll go, but I have no choice. This is the life God has given me, and I'm honored to live it, even when it doesn't go exactly (if at all!) how I planned. (And it usually doesn't!) 

Though the book is far from over, one more page in the interim is turned.